Six Feet Under
by when love was kind
Summary: In which Adrien Agreste writes a series of letters to a girl, all of which she would most likely never read. Until the unlikely day when she does. Adrienette Reverse Crush AU
1. 01

_**"cursed with a heart that could never cease to love"**_

 _September 1, 2017_

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I'm not sure how to start this, I guess I'll start with how we met and how I came to be here, writing letters for you._

 _We officially met while working on a science project for the school's annual science fair. Our mutual friends, Alya and Nino, thought that we would be a great pair. We were. I loved your voice, always so sure of yourself. There was something lovely about you, I had to know you more. See, we are on polar opposite sides of the social spectrum. I'm one of the most popular boys in our school, while you avoid the popular clique all together._

 _Until I met you, and everything has begun to change._

 _adrien_

 _{ **a/n:** I'm really short on ideas for my other fics, so I'm just writing this as a quick fic while I wait for new ideas to come. The formatting and story is inspired by the lovely **impracticals** on wattpad, and based off of the song **six feet under** by Billie Eilish. It's going to be short chapters, but at least 20 plus. I hope you enjoyed it! Love, Em}_


	2. 02

September 4, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _It's me again. Well, you'll never read these letters, so I guess I can say whatever I want. They're just letters you'll never see, a list of things I could never tell you._

 _We "met" on August 31, five days ago. It seems sudden, I know, and it wasn't a love at first sight thing. We worked on the project after school ever since August 31 for three hours. I saw you each day._

 _I first laid eyes on you last year. You stayed at the back of my head for a long year and an even longer summer._

 _It was more time for me to fall in love, and Marinette, I fell so hard._

 _Thanks Nino, I owe him for giving me the chance to meet you again._

 _Love,_

 _Adrien_

 _{a/n: hey guys! Thank you to everyone who has favourited or followed! I'm trying to squeeze a few more updates in before my exams start and my work schedule gets crazy. Hope you enjoyed this! Love, em}_


	3. 03

September 5, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _Today, you smiled at me. We were working on the project when you asked if you wanted to do a duet for the talent show with me. I was frozen. You looked at me with hopeful eyes. When I didn't respond, you said that you were originally going to do something with Alya, but she and Nino decided to do something together._

 _I said yes, and you smiled at me. It was subtle and real. I felt like I was flying._

 _So now, Marinette, we're singing a song together for our school's talent show. Do you know how cliché that is? I do._

 _But I think it's perfect, as perfect as you._

 _Love,_

 _Adrien_

{a/n: hey everyone! I hope you like this chapter! I start exams tomorrow, so I probably won't be updating tomorrow or the next day. I might try to squeeze another chapter or two in between studying. Thank you for all the positive feedback I've been getting! And to clarify: Marinette is not dead. The title is only based on the title of the song Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish. Have a good day, hopefully I'll update later today. Love, em}


	4. 04

September 6, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _Your smile is like a drug._

 _You smiled at me again today. We had taken a break from the project to practise our song, six feet under by Billie Eilish. I secretly love Billie Eilish. You suggested that song and I died inside. I guess it's our song now. If only you felt the same way._

 _God, you were gorgeous today. You were wearing your signature dark gray blazer and white tee shirt with the design stitched in. You were the loveliest creature I had seen all day. You were adorable as you sang the first stanza. I could barely breathe, you were so amazing._

 _I've fallen for you so hard, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. And you don't even see it._

 _How painful._

 _Love,_

 _Adrien_


	5. 05

September 7, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _Our talent show is on September 27, a Wednesday. I'm excited. We're deciding whether or not we want to do another song. I suggested something by Oh Wonder, and your eyes lit up. It was wonderful._

 _Today, you were sick or something. You weren't in class, we share two out of six classes, and I missed you. I missed a girl I had only truly known for like six days, not even a week. I suppose I did better than Romeo. He fell in love and died with Juliet within the course of a week._

 _I can make it one day without seeing you. Maybe._

 _Love,_  
 _Adrien_

{a/n: Whew, finals are finally over. But it will still be at least another week until I can get back to normal schedule with moving out of my dorm and getting settled at home as well as finding a job for the summer. Thank you so much for all the favorites and follows! I am so glad you all enjoy it. Love, em}


	6. 06

September 8, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I saw you today. It's Friday. I don't usually like Fridays, but I saw you, and you made it bearable. I really liked your dress. It was red with black polka dots, almost like a ladybug._

 _It made me smile._

 _At rehearsal, Nino sat in and listened to us. I could see the smile on his face as he watched us. We sang. In a week, we had already finished one song and were moving on to another._

 _We even showed Nino our second tentative song: Lose It by Oh Wonder. You played the piano and we both sang._

 _Nino gave us a standing ovation. He loved it. He loved us._

 _Love,  
Adrien_

{a/n: I have a couple hours on my hands so I'm going to try and crank out a few updates.}


	7. 07

September 8, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _It's a Saturday. I need to get you off my mind. I think Nino could tell I'm in love with you. He mentioned your name several times. I just love your name._

 _Marinette. Marinette Dupain-Cheng._

 _It's beautiful, like you._

 _I need to get over this. I need to just bury my obsession with you six feet under and lose it. Get it? Those are our songs._

 _Or not. Let me be a geek._

 _Love,_

 _Adrien_


	8. 08

September 9, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _You said you wanted to work today, Sunday. I was fine with it. We met at the park and worked on the project for four hours, getting almost all of it finished. We sang while we worked._

 _After we finished, you asked if we wanted to get frozen yogurt. I agreed, obviously infatuated with you. Somehow, you never noticed. Maybe you did, but you just don't care. Wouldn't blame you, I'd never be good enough for you._

 _Well, we got yogurt, you strawberry, and me, a mix of chocolate and vanilla. You had this little smudge of strawberry on your cheek, so I reached over to rub it off. You froze not knowing what to do._

 _You stood quickly and threw your yogurt away. You didn't even say goodbye._

 _I guess I lost it._

 _Adrien_

{a/n: My smol children oml.}


	9. 09

September 11, 2017

 _I'm so embarrassed. I shouldn't have touched your face. God, I completely just ruined it._

 _I didn't see you yesterday, but I did today. I profusely apologized to you. You shrugged it off. After rehearsal, a boy walked up to us, grabbed your hand, and pulled you away. You kissed his cheek and walked out of the hall with him._

 _You have found someone to replace me._

 _Adrien_

{a/n: omg I love writing angst. Poor adrien. Well, a quick update on my crazy life: my friends and I are going to be going up to London for an internship this summer! We didn't find out until recently, and but it doesn't start until July 2 :(. My dorm room is practically moved out, which is amazing considering the fact that I am the biggest procrastinator on the planet. Updates may finally smooth out timing wise once we're all settled. Thank you for all the positive feedback! Love, em}


	10. 10

September 12, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I don't even know why I'm still writing letters to you. You're with this boy named Nath now. Less than a day later, it's all the school gossips about. It's annoying. I just... I ruined it when I touched you._

 _I see you with him, and you look happy. I don't know what to do. We've finished the science project and rehearse our two songs, but it isn't the same._

 _Something has changed: you._

 _Adrien_


	11. 11

September 15, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I haven't written to you 3 days. God, I'm pathetic. How did I get here? Pining after a girl I no longer have?_

 _I just have to move on from you. Somehow._

 _At rehearsal, you wanted to try something new. You wanted to do a piano duet while we sing. You reached your hand to mine, and our hands accidentally touched the same key. We blushed, but our hands lingered a second too long._

 _Does that mean something?_

 _Adrien_


	12. 12

September 18, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I don't know what to do about you. I see you in my classes, and I'm so tempted. I'm tempted to tell you that I love you, that I want to go out with you. But I can't. I have to move on._

 _I have to say goodbye. After two years, I have to give up on you. I love you too much to let you go. How will I move on?_

 _I don't know if I can._

 _With too much love,  
Adrien_

{a/n: BAHAHAHA! I promise this isn't the end though. And I hit 5,000 views! Woohoo! Leave a review and I might today, I might not ;) Love, em}


	13. 13

September 21, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I met a girl, her name is Lila. She's in my art class. I think she's the one who is going to help me move on from you. So I'm going to try unless you give me a sign tomorrow._

 _Please give me a sign, don't make me do this._

 _Adrien_


	14. 14

September 22, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I can do this anymore. I hate you and I love you. You didn't give me sign. During rehearsal, I asked if you wanted to hang tomorrow. You said no. I asked if you wanted to hang sometime on Sunday. You said no. I asked if you wanted to pop some Jiffy Pop and rent a movie sometime. You got annoyed and said no._

 _I think our chance is over. Nino was telling Kim that it wasn't healthy for him to keep pining after Chloe when she wouldn't give him the time of day. I think he'd say the same thing to me about us. I hope we can still be friends after this, I'll text Lila to see if she wants to hang out._

 _Always with love,  
Adrien_

{a/n: bahahahaha. This may seem like the end, but it's not over, I can promise you that. I counted up the chapters that I have written and it'll end up being around 24-26 chapters. I hope you all enjoy. Love, em}


	15. 15

September 24, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _It's Sunday, and I just got back from meeting Lila. She's wonderful and kind, but she isn't you._

 _She isn't you, and I'm a fool for thinking that it'll be that easy to move on from you. You're special, so special that I can't move on._

 _But I'm still going to try. You're with Nath now, and he loves you and you love him. You love him and not me. That hurts, and it's painful._

 _Adrien_


	16. 16

September 26, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _The talent show is in two days. Today, we practiced our two songs: Six Feet Under and Lose It. We still sound so good together. It's shame we could never be together. You humming a song under while you got our sheet music. I liked it, so I asked what song it was. You said Superboy and the Invisible Girl from Next to Normal. I had never heard of Next to Normal before today. But when I got home from school, I listened to it and I loved it. I texted you and asked if you wanted to do that one too. You said: "Let's save it for next time."_

 _Is there going to be a next time? I hope so._

 _Adrien_

{a/n: I discovered the beauty that is the Next to Normal original Broadway cast recording. I highkey recommend that you all listen to it, it's amazing. Love, em}


	17. 17

September 26, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _The talent show is tomorrow. I wish that time would stop. Because after this, I will have not reason to still hang out with you. I'll have no reason to see or talk to you. God, how I wish things were different._

 _Nath kissed you in courtyard today, long, sweet, and lovely. It caused my heart to clench. I felt it in my chest. I felt it just stop, or maybe it was just imagination. It hurt like hell, so it must have been real._

 _I'm cursed with a heart that can cease to love or care. I can't stop loving you._

 _So Marinette, I leave you with two options: kill me or love me._

 _Adrien_


	18. 18

September 27, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _We did it. We killed it. We were so good. I can still feel the emotion in our two songs. You know why? Because I cried after the show. I sat in my room with all the lights off and I cried._

 _You broke me Marinette._

 _I'm going to call Lila after this. I hate you for making me love you. I hate you for this. But I love you. Through all this, I still love you._

 _I think I always will._

 _Adrien_

 _{a/n: I love writing angst. I also wanted to say how much all of your reviews brighten my day. Thanks for sticking through all this angst, it'll get better, I promise. Love, em}_


	19. 19

September 29, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I think I'm moving on. I've been hanging out with Lila the past few days._

 _You looked really happy with Nath today. I'm happy for you, truly._

 _Adrien_


	20. 20

September 30, 2017

 _Marinette,_

 _Today, I kissed Lila. I think I liked it. I did. I moved on. I guess this what it feels like._

 _Adrien_


	21. 21

October 2, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _It's Monday. I heard Nath kissed another girl. I guess it's true, because you were avoiding him all day today. We don't have any reason to hang out. The talent show is over. We finished that science project (and still waiting on the grade, but I think it'll be good)._

 _I didn't really see you outside of class. It's rather lonely. But it looks like you need a friend. Like you need someone to keep you company, so maybe I'll call you later. Maybe you'll pick up. Or maybe you'll let me go._

 _Still with a lot of love,  
Adrien_


	22. 22

October 16, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I haven't written to you for about a week, and there's a lot I need I need to write down._

 _First, you and Nath remain split up. He let Chloe kiss him, and you when you gave him a second chance, he threw it away._

 _Second, I don't me and Lila will work out. We are too different, and Alya exposed all of the lies she told me. The lies that our relationship is built on. I don't think I can still do that._

 _Third, every time I kiss Lila, I think of you, and it always hurts. I can never have you._

 _How tragically fitting for me.  
Adrien_


	23. 23

October 18, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _Here's an update: Lila and I are just friends. I've forgiven her for lying, but we both think we're better off as friends. It never really worked between us. There wasn't any chemistry._

 _I miss you, a lot. We don't talk. But when I do see you, I always think whether we could've been anything._

 _I wish we would._

 _Adrien_


	24. 24

October 19, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _I can't do this anymore. I can't keep writing these letters. They give me the tiniest hope that you could ever love me too. I need to get rid of that fantasy. I need to say goodbye._

 _So this is it._

 _I'll always love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. But I can't keep doing this. So let's teach em how to say goodbye, you and I._

 _Always,  
Adrien_

 _{a/n: we are so close to the end, just two chapters and an epilogue which I have not yet written lol. Thank you all for sticking with this story! Love, em}_


	25. 25

**Marinette's POV**

The final bell rings, signaling the end of the day. I slowly lift my bag up from the floor. I don't look at Nath as I pass his desk.

The halls are crowded as I push through towards my locker. Alya is still at hers, throwing the last few books in her bag.

"Did you hear about Ivan and Mylene? Apparently he finally asked her out!" She tells me as I open my locker.

"Really?"

"See for yourself." She points down the hall. Ivan and Mylene stand talking to Rose and Juleka, holding hands. I smile.

"Hey you busy tonight? My mom is making those good macaroons you like." I ask as I pack up. Alya shakes her head apologetically. "Sorry, Nino and I were going to that milkshake place. You wanna come?"

I laugh. "And be stuck third wheeling all night? Nah, I'll pass."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" She shuts her locker.

"Yeah, see you."

I finish packing up and head to the library to return the books Adrien and I checked out for the science project, humming _lose it_ under my breath. I haven't spoken to Adrien since the talent show ended and Nath and I broke up. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss him. But I guess some friendships aren't meant to last.

I see him walking out of the library and pause. His head is bent and his hands stuffed in his pockets. A part of me wants to walk over and say something, but my feet won't move. I wait a few more seconds until he's gone to go inside.

Chloe sits with Sabrina on the other side of the room. I gulp in a breath as I walk towards the returns bin. I hear giggles as I walk, but I try to keep my head high. At least until I trip over the trash can.

Chloe and Sabrina laugh loudly. I sigh, standing up. In the corner of my eye, I see a glass jar sticking out of the can. It's full of small slips of paper. While Chloe and Sabrina laugh, I quietly slide it into my bag and stand up. No doubt my fall will be all over the internet by tomorrow. I don't really care.

I stop at the park on my way home and quickly text my mom I'll be a couple minutes late. I sit down on a bench and take the jar out of my bag. It's full of paper letters, folded into fourths. There has to be at least twenty of them in there.

After a moment of hesitation, I unscrew the top slowly and pluck a random letter.

It's addressed to me.

They all are.

I read them quickly, as they are short, only about a hundred words each. I lost count of them. One became two which became four. There were just so many. They were all about me, _from Adrien_. Adrien loved me.

I stand up, quickly stuffing the letters back into the jar and I run towards Adrien's house.

I knock on the door and wait patiently. I look around, the trees are beginning to lose their green colour, turning into a palette of reds and oranges. His father's assistant, Nathalie, opens the door.

"Hi Marinette," she says, opening the door a little more to let me in. "Come in."

"Thanks Ms. Sancoeur." I smile.

"Adrien is in his room. I can tell him you're here."

I shake my head. "It's fine."

I walk up the stairs, my heart pounding with each step until I reach Adrien's room.

He's sitting on his bed with a book, and doesn't notice me at first. When he does, he nearly jumps and let's out a high pitched squeak. "Jesus, Marinette." He says, setting his book down. "You scared me."

"Sorry," I respond.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, awkwardly throwing some clutter to the side so I can sit down on his desk chair. I slowly sit down and take the jar out of my bag. His mouth opens and his eyes widen.

"Oh my god, you aren't supposed to see those." He says, standing up and taking the jar from me.

"Adrien." I calmly say, placing my hand on his arm. He stills, his eyes seeming to drill a hole in my arm.

"It's okay." I whisper.

"No, it's not. You probably think I'm some creepy stalker. And, god, this was back when you and Nath were dating and I-"

"I read the last one." I interrupt. He sighs.

"I threw that away for a reason," Adrien nods at the jar.

"Who says that I don't feel the same way." I say slowly, softly. Adrien stares at me. His green eyes are bright and he leans closer the tiniest bit. Instead of kissing me, he wraps his arms around me.

We don't say anything else, but it's nice. Lovely even. Two lonely people who aren't lonely anymore.

 _{a/n: omg im squealing i love these two so much and I loved writing this chapter. Don't worry, there's still one more and possibly and epilogue. Thank you all for so much positive feedback and love this story has gotten. My internship starts next Monday so hopefully I can get myself together and write an epilogue before then. ily, em}_


	26. 26

October 20, 2017

 _Dear Marinette,_

 _You found the letters. You found them, even after I threw them out. You came after me. You feel the same way._

 _Maybe having a heart that can never stop caring is good. Maybe feelings can do good after all. Maybe hearts are made for more than just heartbreak and painful suffering._

 _I love you, and now that I know you feel the same way, I feel whole. I will never hurt you, and I love you._

 _A while ago, I asked you to chose for me: kill me or love me. And you picked._

 _You picked, and I love you, so much._

 _Thank you,  
Adrien_

a/n: Wow it's finally over. When I first started this fic, I only meant for it to be a short distraction from my other fics to get my creative juices flowing again. What it turned out to be (my most successful story on ff) was more than I could have imagined. Thank you to all of my readers who encouraged me to keep writing. Thank you all of my reviewers, it brightens my day to see your comments telling me how much you love the story. Thank you to all of my followers who kept with this story even when the angst got rEaL. And finally, thank you to everyone who gave this fic a chance. I love you all so much.

And now, some shameless self-promotion:

Check out some of my other fics currently up on this site: Left Behind (an Adrienette oneshot), 10 Reasons Why (an Alya/Nino 13 Reasons Why AU), Destiny Can Be Rewritten (a Max Thunderman/OC), A Story of Sorts (another Max Thunderman/OC), and the Laws of Gravity (an Alya/Nino magic!AU).

And stay tuned for my upcoming fics which includes a Miraculous Les Mis AU, two Miraculous Hamilton AUs, a Tikki/Plagg fic, a Miraculous Heathers AU, and a Thundermans Next to Normal AU.

One last time, thank you all.

Love, em


	27. an

**Hey everyone!**

 **I had an idea for a Miraculous College!AU that I really want to write, but I don't know which ships I want to do.**

 **One option is Adrienette and Alya/Nino.**

 **But since I haven't seen a lot of fics with lgtb representation in this fandom, so I thought about possibly doing Adrien/Nino and Alya/Marinette.**

 **Please tell me what you would like me to do! Love, em**


	28. an 2

**Hey!**

 **Thank you all for your feedback and suggestions. I have decided to use the straight ships for my main story, as per much of the suggestions I received. BUT I will also be working on another fic with some LGBTQ+ representation (i.e. Adrien/Nino and Alya/Marinette or Alya/Chloe, I haven't decided yet) so I hope you all check out both! Thank you all so much, Em**


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